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Venus & Beyond

 Love on the outer planets.
Jessica Shepherd  

Even Aphrodite Has Problems! : Guidance For A Venus-ruled South Node

November 1, 2009 2:56 AM by Jessica Shepherd
Dear Jessica,

I am a 22 year old female with South Node in Libra in the 7th house. Venus conjuncts my 28 degree Pisces ascendant at 0 degree Aries.

To be honest, ever since I was little, I had to play the "pretty girl" part, and I had trails of boys developing crushes on me and want me as their "girlfriend." Ever since I was in 1st grade, some kid wanted me as his girlfriend, and his parents always want to take photos of us while projecting puppy love/romance onto us. I complied. I had no idea what's going on (though no kissing ever went on, just coupling). Now I'm developing some odd complex where I want intimacy, but don't want to "conform" to a relationship, because I feel like I'm not getting into a relationship for "me."

As you can see, by using my Venus, I "attract" what's not good for me (South Node issues). It is just my personal situation, but I would like some guidance on Venus when it rules your South Node in general.

Sincerely,
May

Dear May,

Even Aphrodite has problems, right?! Of course she does. I love your question because it brings balance to the Venus equation. Whereas some folks need to learn how to tune into their innate Venusian magnetism - and use that in an empowering way - you have oodles of magnetism. You have no trouble at all attracting which can bring it's own issues like, not falling into another's projection of you, or feeling used sexually or materially for one's beauty, or only being seen as their relationship ideal and so not really seen at all, and so on. To me, the question is one of empowerment, how can a person with a Venus ruled South Node feel empowered by both her sexuality and her ability to choose the right partner when she has so many choices, or so many wolves in sheeps clothing (as our last reader pointed out)? The risk is being used. Oh, but the promise is a really great partnership! One in which you get everything you need.

Generally, a Venus South Node person needs to move to the Mars (Aries or Scorpio) side of the equation without losing your inherited gifts of clear brilliance, beauty and graciousness in the process (and that's where you, with Venus in Aries, are in luck!). But I digress. If you have a Libran or Taurus South Node, you have an Aries or Scorpio North Node. The North Node points to the 'solution' to your relationship problems, but more than that, it acts as a balance toward the naturally tendency to go along with the flow, or to believe that others have your best interest at heart. Not everyone has the best intentions for you and you'll inevitably learn that the person you're learning to trust is you. Likewise, with a North Node in Aries you'll find it useful to stand up for your self, to risk drawing boundaries, and saying, 'this is who I AM and what I stand for'. The person you're learning to ask that question of and count on is you.

Your personal picture is complicated by the fact your South Node ruler is in the sign of your North Node - Aries! You are built for relationship, to learn these Aries lessons of self-hood and standing up for oneself and Venus lessons of self-worth and partnering, within a partnership. How? You will attract relationships that will force you to courageously stand up for your self, probably as a reaction to that remembered feeling of being a not-self in relationship. In those, you will need to have your own felt sense of 'yes, I really do like this person and they feel good to me' instead of being told or going along with what they do or say. When you do this, you are honoring your evolutionary need to be seen for who you are. When they are not pleasing to you, a little rebelliousness is in short order! Why get involved with someone you aren't seen by and with whom it doesn't feel totally right?

I have a positive spin on the idea of 'attracting those not good for me.' You attract every person you need to take you to your next level of self-and-others empowerment. There is no not-good people in this scenario, as challenging relationships present an opportunity to learn more about who you are. Remember, Aphrodite is the Goddess of Discernment, so you'll need to say 'NO' quite a bit to find your 'YES' in love. This doesn't only apply to you. This is plain old Venusian common sense.

Best of Luck in Love!

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